Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ummm...What?!?!

Recently I have noticed changes in my face and body, results of both age and childbirth. I've been thinking about all my years of working out, not working out, losing and gaining weight (not always in that order), years of hair colors, facials, mani and pedi's, all the times when I really gave a shit about my appearance and did everything I could possibly do, and the times when I burned out on all of that and said screw it - gimme a slice of pizza and a beer...or 4.

I hardly ever get carded anymore. When I do get carded it's by a cashier who is wearing a pin stating, "I card if you look younger than 50." Apparently I look younger than 50. This is a good thing.

I remember being at a friend's wedding when I was 28 or 29 and sitting at a table filled with her friends from high school. They were all easily 5 years younger than me and I was the only person who was carded by the server when they served the champagne toast. THAT was a compliment.

Want to know what ISN'T a compliment? When the punk ass kid in the security line who checks the passports and id's looks at my passport, looks at me, looks at my passport a little longer, looks at me, looks at the passport AGAIN (seriously), looks at me and then loudly exclaims,

"Wow! When did you take that photo?"

I start to smile.

He continues,
"You look so young in it! You should really get an updated photo in this thing."

Um, first of all I'm not old. I am, however, old enough and quite capable of kicking your ass.

Second, the photo was taken only a year ago and it wasn't even that great of a photo. So, bite me.

Third, it is 7a.m. and I have literally just rolled out of bed and into the airport. You won't let me come through with any liquids which includes coffee. Coffee, which my husband knows, is also known as my early morning attitude adjuster and facelift. So I wasn't looking even remotely close to my normally fantabulous self.

Who says that to someone? I was speechless. Speechless.

If only...

If only I had that hot steaming cup of coffee warming the palms of my hands as I came through the line. If only I'd been more prepared for your early morning verbal bitch slap. I'm a bit clumsy, you see, so there is a high probability that my cup may have "accidentally" fallen out of my hand and onto you.

Accidentally, of course.


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Monday, March 16, 2009

The Countdown Begins!


Two weeks from today Dave leaves with a big ol' truck that will be packed to the gills, a friend who's flying up from Park City to accompany him, a car on a trailer and a cat. Quite a list, huh?

He will be driving approximately 3,100 miles to our new home in Nashua. Good thing he really likes road trips.

As of today, I have one month left before I leave. Sabrina and I will be staying with some friends for the few weeks in between which I think she will really enjoy because they have the sweetest 4 year old daughter. They speak French at home so maybe she'll pick it up and we can teach their daughter a little mandarin. It'll be like the UN all under the same roof.

A month from tomorrow Sabrina and I leave Seattle (boo hoo)...but we have decided to take the 'scenic' route, if you will, and will be arriving in Boston's Logan airport the first weekend in May. If all goes well and the weather cooperates we will be quite tan by the time we arrive.

Here's a hint about where we're going - they have perfected the many ways to eat poi. Do you know where we're going? If you are the first 3 to guess correctly I will bring you a 4 oz bottle of the AMAZING Maui Babe Browning Suntan Lotion. It is made with Kukui Nut Oil, Aloe, Kona Coffee Extract and Antioxidant Vitamins E, C and A.

I should warn you, however, that I'm PRETTY sure that there is absolutely no SPF in this stuff...but you'll look awesome. I promise. I like to mix it with a little spf suntan oil/lotion so that I don't burn. Just a suggestion. I hold no responsibility for any misuse of this product.

We have been purging and packing machines these past few weeks. We have donated quite a bit already to the department of family services and have more from this weekend.

Whew!

I'll try to keep this blog updated while Dave is travelling so that we can all follow along with him on his road trip.

See you soon!