I can't believe I forgot to tell you guys about this... vote for which story will go into my book of my most memorable/embarrassing moments. Put your vote in the comments.
Awesome story #1:
It was early on a very, very rainy Monday morning. I had run out of the house looking my usual fabulous self in yoga pants, tank with built in shelf bra (underwire is an absolute MUST after childbirth), my favorite zip front sweatshirt with a beautiful lotus flower embroidery on the front and black converse spattered with Pumpkin Spice paint from Behr. Hair pulled into a ponytail and glasses to finish off this hot look.
On my way back home I stopped at the gas station. As I got out of the car I happened to glance towards the front door of the gas station. There was this cute guy standing outside smoking a cigarette (yuck!) and we happened to look at each other. Minus the cigarette, this dude was hot!
I'm married but my eyes still work. :)
As I was standing there waiting for the tank to fill up I happened to notice that the cutie was starting to walk across the parking lot and it seemed he was walking right towards me. And I mean he was making a bee line for me. My defenses came flying up. No longer was he a hot dude...now he was just a weirdo walking towards me...in the pouring rain. If it was a sunny day I may not have noticed, but it was raining hard and he was obviously walking towards me.
Frick, frack, fruck! I was looking for an easily accessible weapon that I could grab in the next 1.8 seconds I had before he got to me. I didn't know what to expect.
He walks up to me, stops about 3 feet away and says, "Hello."
I ignore him.
He repeats himself and this time I reply with a short and curt, "What?," while obviously looking NOT in his direction. Everything in my body language was saying, "Not interested, man. Get away. I have no cash and NO you cannot have a ride."
He said something else but I was imagining how fast I could run and how loud I could scream, just in case. Suddenly the word "beautiful" caught my ear and I looked at him and with some serious attitude I said, "Whaaat?" I thought he had said something sexual/inappropriate. He repeated himself.
"I walked over here to tell you that I think you're beautiful."
I realize he's serious and I start laughing. Hard. I mean, I was pretty sure I looked anything but beautiful at this moment. I was thinking, "Man this guy really wants money or a ride. What a scrub!"
"No, really. I don't want anything from you and I know this is random but I wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful. I walked over here to tell you that."
Pretty sure I'm red from embarrassment at this point.
He smiles, "I walked over here in the rain to tell you that. In the rain."
I stop laughing and say, "Thank you." He walks away. I am laughing to myself. Why am I so paranoid!?! As I'm telling myself to chill out I don't realize that my gas tank is full but the sensor didn't click it off. The gas pouring onto my foot rudely pulls me out of my daydream.
Awesome Story #2:
I used to commute from Philadelphia to Manhattan every day for work. My favorite train to catch was the 5:13 a.m. train. Crazy, I know, but it was not quite as busy as the next couple of trains and I could sleep soundly for the whole ride.
One morning I arrived into Penn Station and was apparently p.a.s.s.e.d. out. It was about 6:30 or so. The conductor nudged me awake. I was the last person on the train! I grab my bag and start my walk up through the station still half asleep.
As I come up the stairs from underground I look up the stairwell and see this bee-YOO-tee-ful man at the top of the stairs. He's looking at me, I'm looking at him.
Suddenly I'm awake.
P.S. I'm single. :)
I get to the top of the stairs and I'm thinking of how to say a sultry, "Hello". I get to the top of the stairs and just as I'm about to pass him and flash a nice "good morning" smile HE... APPROACHES... ME!!!
"Excuse me," he says as he takes a step towards me.
Oh my gosh. I just wanted to smile and keep moving...this is more than I was prepared for and I was too tired to think quickly on my feet.
"Hi. Good morning," I reply. I stop and smile.
He leans in towards me and says, "I just wanted to let you know...that your zipper is down."
I'm pretty sure I died right there on the spot.
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